In the Assignment Quest ‘Ballooning Problems’, a Quest that has the player hunt 1 Paolumu, the description reads: “…I’m sorry, I just retched thinking about that monster’s face. Seriously, you’ll be doing it a favour…and us too. Hunt it and the Airship Engineer will have everything he needs.” 

First of all how rude! Paolumu did nothing to you. And while the snarling face of a Paolumu certainly is… something, so is every angry monster’s face. 

For its Nightshade variant- a subspecies introduced in the Iceborne DLC – the client of the quest ‘A Face Nightmares Are Made Of’ has this to say about their unexpected encounter: “…suddenly the ugliest face I’d ever seen jumped out at me. I must have fainted, but when I came to, it was gone. I know it’s still out there… Out there with its hideous face! Please, Hunter! I still have nightmares about it!” Which was uncalled for. It flew away! 

A Paolumu’s facial features are reminiscent of an angry hairless rat, only with much longer ears, which I will admit isn’t exactly the pinnacle of cuteness. But if you’re a rat lover, Paolumu could be cute the way pugs are considered so with their deformed faces. 

More redeeming aspects of this flying wyvern for all the Paolumu-hunters out there include its wonderfully fluffy mane. Both the regular white mane and Nightshade black-and-multicolour look so cuddly and soft and can be used to make the plushest armour available for you and your Palico. 

There are certainly other monsters that I find particularly hideous, much more so than the Paolumu. This could be an unpopular opinion, but the Pukei-Pukei to me is the ugliest monster. 

…its tongue. Eugh. Give me a Paolumu over this any day. 

If you still think this fluffy monster’s face is the most hideous thing to grace the New World, at least leave its icons out of your judgement. While you could argue they strip away its defining features and as such shouldn’t be used to justify a false biased claim… Yeah… You could argue that, but I won’t listen. 

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